Too early to tell

So I am up at 5am this morning due to putting my extremely tired baby down early last night.  Man do you pay for it the next day.  For some reason my kids only need about 8 hrs of sleep.  Most of my friends kids sleep for 10hrs. plus!  How about you?  How do your kids sleep and what is your routine?  I need help!!!  I have already been up for 3hrs.  I am afraid of how this day is going to turn out.  Stay tuned!

Imperfection at its best

I have had a rough last few days. What started as a really nice night out on Friday turned a bit sour. After one too many glasses of wine at a friends party, I decided it was okay to tell practically every person exactly what I thought of them, and their political views. Not good. Thankfully, there was no major fallout from the incident other than my completely unproductive weekend and a bit of embarrassment. I awoke the morning after wondering how I made it home. Luckily, our friends live a few doors down from us. I had to be at Disney On Ice with my two daughters and hubby and my cousins family by 1130am. I almost died. I returned home and could barely even look at my house. It was a mess. I had spent Friday getting everything really nice for the weekend and that all went out the door in a matter of hours. I let the kids run around all day and do whatever they wanted and it showed. My sister-in-law called that night to invite us over for dinner. Awesome! I got some interesting risotto and my kids were occupied for a few hours. Sunday I woke up tired again and unable to function. Getting old sucks! My body can't party like it used to. And sometimes I have a hard time accepting that. I feel like I am still 20, but then I look in the mirror and see the wrinkles and I am reminded that time is ticking away whether I like it or not.
When we were in college, our group of friends were pretty wild. The transition to adulthood has not always been an easy one for most of us. I have a lot of friends that I have distanced myself from because it is hard for them to understand what it is like being a responsible person, and parent. I can't go out and live the same life I did 10 years ago without it taking its toll on my family. My kids would suffer. It isn't the right way to be although it would be fun--- At some point, we have to learn that the past is the past and sometimes it is best to leave it there.
Today I woke up feeling renewed, but still a bit sick! I took my younger daughter on a bike ride at which time I thought I was having a heart attack, but somehow made it home! I did my grocery shopping ( only to return to find my dog had gotten into the garbage from last night and ate about 15 tails of shrimp), took my older daughter to swim lessons and then talked to my friend....I am going to leave her nameless because I know for a fact that some of the guys are reading this and I don't want to start problems! But as I was cleaning I was telling her how my husband takes his socks off at night and then when I got to change the bed a few days later, I will find 3 pair of socks stuck in the bottom of the bed! Soo annoying! She told that her husband throws wet towels and dirty clothing on the top of her purse....what is with these guys! I couldn't stop laughing. We do so much and they just don't get it. I think we should stop doing it all and let the dishes pile up and let the laundry overflow. See how fast they shaped up...but for us type a's you know we could never do that! until next time.....

Validation

I told you all about the Women's Conference that was happening today.  I was very sad that I wasn't there,  I had some time this morning and went online to hear what was going on.  It was streamed in real time so I got to see it while it was happening.  Warren Buffet and Arnold Schwarzenegger were on when I listened in the morning.  They spoke of how this is amazing time for women and how we should embrace the power we have because obviously back when Warren Buffet was growing up women had none.  Chris Matthews was in the mix too and it was incredible to listen to him as he spoke of his wife.  He said that nothing would get done in his home if it wasn't for his wife, that essentially he does nothing and she does everything and he admires her so very much.   But the even funnier thing was when he said that when he was a kid, he knew his father had no power in the home.  He said they would not have had their home at the shore, that new car, or nice clothing if it wasn't for her.  I laughed.  Many of us could say that was the same in our homes.  I always knew who was boss in my house and I can tell you it wasn't my father.  He thought he was.  Funny how things don't change.  My husband would tell you he is the boss, but we all know better than that.

When Maria Shriver took the podium, I had just returned home from picking my daughter up from school.  I was so excited that I made it back in time to see her, so I paused my computer and put my baby down for a nap and my older daughter went to have a snack and color.  I came back to my computer, unpaused and listened in amazement.  Maria as I have said before is one woman I look up to.  Whenever she speaks she motivates me.  She makes you feel like you can do anything.  One speech she made was about giving  young daughters confidence at an early age.  (I struggle with this all the time because I know how hard life is going to be for them as women.   They are going to have weed through bad men to get to the good one, they are going to have weather many storms with their girlfriends before they find true friendships.  I don't want them to have to go through what I have had to with friends over the last few years.  I want them to find happiness early on and never doubt their self worth.   But the reality is, it won't happen. )  Sorry, I am babbling, so anyway, in her speech a while back she said she always was pretty confident because her dad told her that no matter what, when she walked into a room, people were lucky to have her there.   Her parents always made her feel like she incredible, without making her too confident.   I wonder if I will ever be able to achieve this.  

Now getting to her speech today.  She validated so many of my feelings-  She spoke of fear --how are all so scared to be who we are for fear that someone make not like us.  Or fear that we may not be accepted into the "it" group.   Who cares, she says......be who you are and be confident and be proud.  It made me realize so many things about the journey I am on right now.  I don't care anymore if the "it" crowd thinks I am too boring to hang with them.  I know I am doing right by myself and my family.  She also told a story of how her mother is 87 and sick.  She lives in DC.  Far away from Maria in LA.  So she has to fly back and forth to see her all the time.  One day when she was leaving, she brought her mother back to her bed and tucked her in....she looked at her for a minute and decided to climb in bed with her.   As her mother stared forward (Maria had never done anything like this before...her mother is a rather tough woman), she told Maria, "all I do is wait, and wait, and wait for you to come back.  You come for a short time and you leave again, and all I do is wait."  She realized at that moment that her relationship with her mother was changing...This woman that once took care of her, now needed her to do the same.  It was amazing to me...because my own mother is not touchy feely either and in the back of my mind I always wonder how she feels ..but just through that speech, I think I know now. 

Finally, I received an email today from a friend from college.  She is going through a big rough patch in her life.  Her email moved me basically to tears.  I don't think she could have ever imagined how that email helped me realize many things about friends and myself and I thank her.  I hope while she is on this roller coaster for the next few months, she knows she always has a friend in me.....until later.....

Importance of women.

This is a very busy week for me.  I am over taken by this excel spreadsheet stuff.  It is a very small job in the grand scheme of this auction but it is very busy as the reservations are coming in the mail.  So it will only last about 7 or so days...but it seems like a lifetime for me when I have two kids trying to type on the computer at the same time!

I have been going to the park with the kids a lot and really focusing  on them when I am not focusing on the my spreadsheet that is.... I have been starting dinner early in the morning and putting it in the fridge until ready to cook....and that way I don't take an hour or so in the late afternoon preparing.  I haven't watched one ounce of TV.....except last night I watched the Hills and Dr. 90210 when they went to bed......  They get so much energy out and I notice that they go down easier at night.  I am trying to stick to the old fashioned way of raising kids rather than over booking them in activities like dancing, soccer, etc....Olivia told me all she wants to do is go to swimming...so maybe she will be an Olympic swimmer.....

Don't forget that tomorrow is a very important day.   It is the 2008 Women's conference.  The largest gathering of women.  The First Lady of CA puts it on.....Maria Shriver.  I absolutely idolize her.  She stands for everything a woman should be. If you ever a chance to watch her speak, you should.   If you have some spare time tomorrow, you can stream the whole conference into your computer on www.oprah.com.   It really is a once in a lifetime opportunity that you shouldn't miss.  It sold out to 14,000 women in 3hrs.    I had a ticket to it and I gave it up.  Stupid me.   Until next time......... 

Tough night last night.  I wanted to watch Brothers and Sisters but of course, fell asleep in the last 15 minutes so I miss all the good stuff.  Then my youngest baby wakes up about 100 times and then we sleep in and we have to rush my oldest daughter off to school, which she hates.  She requires at least 30mins of TV time and breakfast time before she will even consider putting clothing on.  Today she had about 5 minutes.   At least my husband got to see first hand what it is like dressing her in the morning.   It sounded like husband and wife arguing about what she was going to wear.  I was giggling from the other room.  She gave her daddy the same show she give me every morning.....LOL!

I was reading my horoscope this morning and it rang so eerily true in my head....It said, "do not depend on others to do as you expect them to."   I used to have so many problems with friends in the past.  I was of the belief of quantity not quality.  I since have revised that belief and I know my close friends have too.   I have a best friend and some very close friends.  I keep the circle small.   Everyone is so jealous and just overall thoughtless.  They have problems in their marriages that they don't want to face or their kids are problems and they ignore that fact.  As I always say, if you are not honest.....I am over you.   I always think of people to invite them to concerts or activities with kids and I found out that someone doesn't have the same courtesy for me.  So rude......So sick of trying to be the nice guy and getting dumped on.  Waste of energy that I could be putting somewhere else, like bagging on them in my blog!  Until later..... 

Indian Summer

I have been off the blogging for the last few days.  My life gets so busy and I always throw things on the back burner never to return to them again.  I don't want my blog to die the same death as a million other new ventures in my life have, it would just be too sad!  I have had so many dreams in my life but I never follow through.  I don't know if it is because I have a mild case of ADD..or what the hell the problem is with me.  I am never short of things to say, so I will continue my blog as long as I have followers...and that I do!

I have been so frustrated over the last few days at how people are handling this election...which brings me to Facebook.   I do spend time on it everyday.  I enjoy reading people's posts.  They seem to think people really care if they are going to a pancake breakfast or to a big party or that they got really drunk the night before.   I would much prefer to read juicier tidbits than that!  But needless to say, I read all the posts I can get my hands on and I love looking at pictures.  Some are better than others.   Time has been kind to some and not so kind to some! (oh and by the way....can you please refrain from posting pictures of you posing for the camera....you are no supermodel!)  I love it.  And everyone else does too.....BUT....do me a favor and check your political views at the door.  NO ONE CARES what you think...and further, I bet if I sat half of these people in a room, they couldn't answer one question on why they are voting for who they are voting for.  We seem to have forgotten what it is to respect one another.  Each candidate is a human being, not a human whipping post.  So I commented on someone's wall the other day saying to let it alone...leave politics to the politicans..etc.  OH MY...you would have thought I killed his dog.  I had a million emails from his Facebook friends telling me off....and the words were not kind.  I can assure you of that.  What a joke.  Finally I just deleted him off my friends list.  I don't want friends who don't show people respect.  It is fine to disagree with people's views, but everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter who they are.  Get over it!

I am really high strung lately.  Everytime I walk out of the room, one of my kids has to follow me.  GEEEEZZZ....can't they follow their dad somewhere?  I am with them 24/7.  Shouldn't every hard working mother get a few minutes to herself during the weekend?  or is that too much to ask?  Anyway...I am working on reservations for the St. Chris auction.   My best friend is working on it with me too.  We spent over an hour on this damn spreadsheet.  I felt like I was back at work again!  Well, she did I am sure since she was working on it...I don't like spreadsheets--they give me vertigo.

Well, once again, I have a child tugging on me.   I have to get these kids to be before Sunday night shows start!  I will talk to you all soon.....

one last thing.  I tried a yogurt parfait today from Whole Foods....well, I am actually eating right now.  I am breaking Oprah's eating after 7:30 rule.  But for all you healthy girls out there....if you want to make one at home....just mix plain yogurt, honey, mint, and some fruit together and you have a really healthy later night dessert!  Sooo good.

My fish taco recipe is awesome and easy too.  I made them tonight.  I copied my friend who was having them :)  I use Cod filets.  very mild fish.  salt, pepper and a little chili powder on both sides.  I fry in a small amount of olive oil until done...then I use corn tortillas, fresh salsa and guacamole from whole foods...some shredded cabbage and I don't do the mayo sauce that is usually on them in restaurants....mayo=heart attack....have a good one :)

Reality

I didn't do my blog last night.  I had such a nice productive day and the kids went to bed at 730pm.  I found myself wanting to be away from the computer and the  phone so I went to bed to watch Project Runway Finale and read my magazines.  I picked up one magazine my mom gave me.  (She gets every magazine known to man, so I take them so I don't have to buy them ;)  There were several articles about cancer.  This month is breast cancer awareness month and it is always an important month for me.  My mom is now a 28 yr survivor.  It could be her first year anniversary or her 28th year and I still feel exactly the same.  Remembering when I was a 15 yr old devil teenager who could care less about my parents.  Sept 1987,  I found out my grandfather died and my mom was diagnosed the same day with breast cancer.   The grief was so painful as I was so close to my grandfather, and finding out my mother could die of breast cancer was unbearable.  I however, do not believe I ever understood the disease much back then.  I also held in my fear, and no one ever knew I cared.  I tend to do that a lot in my life.  FYI-It isn't healthy.  I developed panic attacks and anxiety that I battle to this day.  Never have used medication to help treat it, I guess that is where I went wrong!  

Anyway, my point to this story is how important it is to stay up on your health and to get out there and exercise and eat well.  Most of us have kids that we need to be around for and all the stress in this Valley is enough to choke a horse....

Which lead to me to my next point.  I watched Real Housewives of Atlanta on Tues. night.  I have enjoyed the installments of Orange County and NYC.  But these Atlanta chicks take it to the next level of trash.  I partially blame Bravo for showing this crap during these hard economic times for our country, but these women have zero respect for money and it makes for good TV.  I again go back to looking at people who have so much and you tend to wish that you had their life, but most of these women are single and all they care about is keeping up this crazy overpriced lifestyle.  It made me realize how lucky I am in my life.  I may not be rich, but my life is good.   I have to think that living comfortably is far better than over extending yourself, getting into major debt and then having to dig yourself out at the cost of your family.  Having financial stress is a deal breaker for most families and kids can read it all over your face.   Not to mention people can read it on yours through wrinkles...and then when you are broke, you can't afford Botox.....and that would be bad.

Funny Things

Okay...so today was filled with some interesting moments.  It was such a beautiful day...  I got up early, got my daughter off to school, put a pot roast in the crock pot...(how very 1970's of me), and then showered, took my younger daughter on a walk to walk her baby.  We were about to get in the car when my sister in law called to say she would pick up my older daughter from school.   I figured I had some time, so I got out our ladder and proceeded to hang spider webs on my front window.  Well, the ladder gave out and I fell into the rose bush and then my bum came crashing down on the brick.  So half my body was stuck in the rose bush and I had to wait until I saw my neighbor come home from her walk so she could pull me out.   She had to run over, pull her son out of the Baby Bjorn and lay him on my lawn, while her 2 yr old daughter walked up and wondered why the hell this woman was in the bushes?!  Needless to say, my butt is in some serious pain.  I was sure I shattered my tailbone, paralyzed myself and punctured a lung cause I couldn't breathe....but it turns out that was just my hypochondria.  I put my younger daughter down for a nap and then gave my older daughter an art project to work on.  I could barely move.  They both were very cooperative and realized how good they can be.  I am a lucky person. But everytime I sneeze, my ass hurts.

I got an email today from a friend of mine who is at home one day a week.  I think I hurt her feelings with my thoughts on what a woman should get done during the day.   She says she can barely get herself in the shower, but she did manage to take her son to gymnastics and she cooked dinner.  I say.....AMEN.     Most people I know who don't work, can't do any of that!  Pat yourself on the back for a job well done :)   

I had to bow out of the California Women's Conference today.  I was so excited to go and see all these wonderful women speak, but I can't get the flights to work out with my schedule.  It is a sold out event.  I hear all women should go to it at least once.  It empowers the working mom, the stay at home mom, etc.....I wanted to see if it had anything good to offer me.  I am at a crossroads...I feel some days like I should be working, but then other days, I don't think I can leave my kids.  Why do we always have to feel so torn?  How come men don't feel torn ever?  

I don't have much to say tonight.  I think I need to make this an early night so I can go put some ice on my tailbone.  But I am going to leave you with the recipe for my pot roast.  It is  a real man pleaser.... :)

3 pd. round rump 

1 can of condensed cream of mushroom soup (98% fat free)

1 envelope Lipton onion soup mix

1/2 cup  of water

potatoes and carrots

Put the cream of mushroom and lipton soup in crock pot, add 1/2 c of water.  Stir.  Add potatoes cut into quarters and carrots cut half.  Salt and pepper the roast and brown on everyside in a pan.  then after browned, add to crock pot and cook on high for 5-6 hrs or on low for about 8-9.  I put in around 9am and cook until 6.  It is so tender and makes its own gravy.   YUM!

Long Fall Day

This day is way too long.  I want it to end.  I usually wake about 30mins to an hour before the kids and hubby so I get stuff done.  Today that didn't happen and we were rushed.  It has been that way all day.    I have two kids who have not taken naps, my house is a mess, I am imperfect in everyway and it is making me crazy.  To make it worse, the milk jug had a leak on the way home from the grocery store and went all over the carpet of my car.  It is going to smell great in there tomorrow!  

I am tired from a long weekend....I taught Sunday school yesterday and then we went to the pumpkin patch.   Half of the Bay Area was there.  But the kids love it and I love the roasted corn on the cob dripping in butter and sprinkled with parmesan.   It is great for the wasteline!  

I got a nice call today though from one of my oldest high school friends.  She read my blog!  I really haven't told anyone about it so I was suprised that someone found it.  She told me that after she read my first entry, she realized that since she doesn't have kids or hubby to hinder her so  she needed to put a little extra effort into herself.  She put on lipstick and did her hair and is a happier person today!  She even told her sister about it and she too is going to get herself together!  No more excuses ladies!  We need to keep ourselves looking good.  Otherwise people will just talk about us behind our backs saying how crappy we look and how much we have aged over the years.   Tip-head over to Old Navy and grab yourself some ruffled cardigans and throw on some jeans.  You will look great and you won't stretch your clothing budget....oh wait....what is that??? heehee

Another friend Facebooked me to tell me she loved the blog...she has one too.  I will post hers so you can read that too.  My sister in law thinks I am being to tame, so I might have to spice this up----I will never use names though.  I have to keep the friends I have......

but I did get an email from an ex friend over the weekend.  As I have said before I am over people being rude and not honest.  She is the biggest culprit and I have in my own mind ended the friendship.  She wanted to know how I was and how things were going.  I hit the delet button.  No time for people who you can trust with your life.  Life is too short.   Us girls need people we can lean and not use our weaknesses against us.  Too bad though because friendships like that are hard to find.  

Not so perfect day

Today is one of those not so perfect days for me, but I still managed to do quite a bit.  I went out last night to stuff envelopes for our church benefit auction.  We also did wine tasting for it.  We tried champagne, chardonnay and red wine.  It was only suppose to go until 8pm, but we managed to drink until 11:15pm.  Not a good mom.  I left my husband at home and told him I would be back in an hour or so.  Never called and I didn't care!  I needed a night out where I didn't have to worry about kids or house or husband.  I was with  girls that I know pretty much nothing about, but when the wine starts to flow, you find that you know more about people than you think and you share so much in common.  It was refreshing to be out with women who tell the truth about EVERYTHING.   I come across friends everyday who tell me life is great, kids are great, everythings great.  But is it? is the real question.  No one can be perfect 100% of the time, but I think in some peoples minds they think they are.  Last night I had a lot of my feelings validated and it felt great.   We all struggle, and we need to be okay with being honest about it.  We all have feelings that we are not good enough, our house isn't good enough, we are not rich enough, our kids aren't popular, we aren't pretty, we aren't skinny....but do those things really matter?  When do we learn that it is okay to be who we are without worrying about what other people think.  If we all just told the truth and let people know that not everyday is a good day and that we do feel insecure sometimes, I think we all would sleep much sounder at night.  I woke up this morning feeling hung over, but renewed.  I got up and made breakfast, went to my nieces soccer game and now I plan to have dinner with my husband and daughters.  I am going to try to stick to my new plan....To not care what others think about my life and I hope I can help others do the same.  

My First Blog

Well, today is the first day I have ever written a blog.  I told myself I would never do it, because it was for people with far too much time on their hands or no friends to rant and rave to.   I have a million friends that I rant to each and everyday.  They will be the first to tell you that I drive them nuts with my daily complaints and advice on how they should be living their lives.  I seem to think I am an expert on certain things.  Well everything.  I have always been this way.  When I was first became a mom I felt this overwhelming urge to be perfect.  I still do and I think that is what is eventually going to drive me to an early grave.  I had to make sure I showered by a certain time, house was clean before hubby got home, and there was a balance meal on the table.  I realize this is not realistic for everyone all of the time, but I am finding a large amount of my friends can't seem to even get one of those things done before hubby gets home from work.  What man wants to come home to a dirty house, a wife that looks like she has been dragged down the street by the trash truck and no food on the table.  GROSS.  I had a great role model when I was growing up.  Although my mother did not rise early to fix us a well balanced breakfast and get myself and my 2 older siblings off to school, she did manage to workout, get her house clean, read some fashion magazines, go to the mall and get dinner started before she picked us up at school.  She was almost always put together.  Full hair and makeup and a perfect outfit almost everyday.  Tough act to follow I am sure you are thinking..but not really.   It takes some practice and a lot of organization and many frustrating days----so this is why I want to start this blog.  I want to show other moms and wives out there, that you too can be perfect, well, almost perfect most of the time.